MTN Marathon

A sea of yellow MTN shirts and hats, moving to the unison beat of treading feet on pot-hole infested roads. We looked like a river of banana peels, making our way through the city like a flash flood; receiving cheers and clapping from the people along the river banks. Running together like a herd of antelope, each person working tirelessly to keep up with the next; having no choice but to keep moving, no chance of even considering giving up. If you stop in this mass flow of people, it’s as if you become like cholesterol in an artery; frustrating the constant flow of the system, people dodging around you, elbows hitting your side, legs becoming cluttered. Best bet is to stick to the edges of the crowd, moving up along the sidelines, able to escape the messiness of 6,000+ people trotting along to the same beat.

The energy was refreshing, was unifying, a feeling of connectivity and oneness in purpose; to accomplish the race, to cross the finish line and know in your heart that you had reached the goal that so many others were also striving towards. It was nice to feel everyone on the same page in that moment. Jobs were left behind, social classes and structure were broken down, all sense of hierarchy and division that exists in our daily lives was left behind at the starting line. We were one; we existed in a realm where we sought to motivate each other to continue to push through. Running past people walking, reaching out to grab their hand, saying “my sister/my brother, we continue”, only to see a reinvigorating sense of drive in their energy, instantly continuing to get back to running, edging our way just a little bit closer to the finish line.

I can remember running up a rather long portion of the marathon on a hill, reaching the top, and feeling extremely faint, woozy and at the point of collapsing. I stumbled to a walking pace, swaggering left and right as I tried to maintain balance. I thought I was going to wake up in an ambulance. I continued to be in that moment, breathing into the state of existence I had driven my body to be in, when just then, a man grabbed my arm and said “Let us run together. Come Mzungu, we must finish”. Instantly I was refreshed. It was if he had touched me with a healing energy, a reminder of what I had come to do, to accomplish my goal, to finish what I had started.

We all continued to run, women cheering out their traditional chants, “ai yai yai yai yai” in a high pitched tone, water splashing everywhere as unfinished bottles were thrown in the air, wet sponges ubiquitously cluttering the road.

I saw the last 200 meters approaching as I breached around the final bend of the course. Instantly I gained a fresh, full tank of energy. I was off like roadrunner, escaping Wiley coyote; imagining a trail of dust being left in my tracks. Running through 50 meters of onlookers sprawled behind barrier gates, I felt both awkward and accomplished in that moment. People clapping and cheering, screaming “welcome back”, a phrase many Ugandans love to use in daily conversation. I zoomed across the finish line, looking up to catch a glimpse of my time; 59.30.

I walked into the rest area, downed 2 bottles of water, stretched my aching muscles and passed out for a half hour in a mountain of empty water bottle boxes. Continued over to the supermarket, and sat in happiness, with a half liter of yoghurt, a packet of glucose cookies and a bushel of bananas. I ate in glee and remembered the joy of the open road, the feeling of being one with all, the joy of accomplishing something I did not think I would finish. In that instant I forgot all else, and sat in contempt, fully in the moment, existing in the now, just being……. And it was beautiful!!!

I now understand my Aunt Mary's constant dedication to training and her unending thirst to run marathons. Thanks for the inspiration AM!!!

The Rush of The Rapids

I went up to Bujugali Falls and Jinja
(about 2 hours east of Kampala) to stay at a place called "Nile River
Explorers" to go rafting down the Nile river. What an intense
experience. It was a non stop rush. We took a sardine can of a bus
out to Jinja, and then reached the junction to get up to the hostel.
We were told that it was only .75km to the camp, so matt and I decided
to walk it, while the others took motorcycles. I wish we had followed
their lead. Matt and I walked and eventually reached a sign that said
4km to the camp. So Matt and I decided to finally take a Boda, as
storm clouds were riding in quickly. We got on a boda and within 20
seconds we were in the middle of torrential, monsoon like rain. I had
never seen rain this heavy. I couldnt even keep my eyes open on the
motorcycle. We were sliding all over the road, nearly hitting a man on
a bicycle, which caused us to fishtail, nearly losing balance. We
finally got control back, and headed down the final stretch to the
hostel. Again he started sliding, fishtailing left, then right, and
finally skidding onto the side of the road and into a ditch. Matt and
I flew off the side and into the ditch. Luckly there was really long
grass, no rocks, and a big puddle to land into to break our fall. No
one was hurt, but it was once again a crazy accident. I swore off
Bodas after my first accident, but there was literally no other option
out there in the middle of no where. We also ended up hitting a goat
on another boda the following day. Crazy drivers, crazy obstacles. It
always makes for an interesting experience. Unless it is the only
option, I don't ride them anymore.

We reached the hostel to a jam packed outdoor bar of about 100 white people, all laughing and clapping as matt and I arrived like wet dogs, shivering in the rain.
Wet shoes were the one thing I did not want this weekend (remembering
how miserable they had made me the previous weekend in Murchison
falls... Luckily it was sunny on saturday and I could dry them in the sun.)
I went to bed early that night, wanting to escape the madness of rowdy
mzungus. They seemed like a whole other breed of people. People seemed so care free, also lacking cultural appropriateness (throwing bottles on the floor, laughing as the local staff sweptit up). Even the music selection of purely alternative music, some heavy metal, and absolutely nothing that resembled anything East African (which I have come absolutely love). It did not feel like I was in Uganda.

Before passing out, they showed a video compilation of that days rafting trip. My stomach was in my throat. Rafts being flipped in the rapids, people hurled
downstream, lost in the waves, , only to pop up on screen 10-15
seconds later. People whipped over waterfalls, boats vertically
flipping. I was terrified. I went to bed that night rolling in my
sleep, anticipating the intense experience to come the following day.

We woke up 7 to meet the bus and the other rafters and begin our
journey. We headed to another hostel for a nice buffet breakfast and
then down to the water to get in the boats. Our raft guide was
hilarious, spewing out a routine of jokes I imagine he says on every
trip. Needless to say he made the experience a lot more comfortable
and fun... We started out with training in how to reflip the boat, and
how to pull ourselves and others in, how to hold the paddle, how to
sit in the water if you fall out, call signs to be saved, how to call
for a kayaker to help you, etc. Soon after we were in our first rapid.
One of the girls on our raft flew out and was swept down. She was
extremely shook up. It only created a more extreme energy in the boat.
We were all pumped after the first waterfall and thirsty for more (at
this point I was not physically thirstly as I had swallowed quite a
lot of water already. haha) This was the first of 12 rapids. Over the
entire day our raft flipped twice (pretty intense flips). The first
time we went down a rapid called chop suey (all other rafts opted out
of taking this rapid.. Our guide wanted to show us the best time
possible, so he daringly took us down). We went off a 6 foot waterfall
into a huge pit that had an 8 foot wave (this is not an uncle
bob/jessica exageration. It literally was 8 feet). I was in the front
of the boat, and gladly took the mammoth wave in my face. Before I
knew it I was flipping through the air, and trapped under the boat. I
quickly reached for the ropes on the side of the raft, pulled myself
out of the rapid, and just as I surfaced to get a quick breath of air,
I was shot under the water again as we rolled over waterfalls, over
bolders, rushing downstream at full speed. Our guide mounted the boat,
and flipped it over and we all quickly pulled ourselves into the boat
(with the guide yelling, get back in the boat quickly, this area has
crocodiles.. Still unsure whether he was messing with us, or serious).

My heart has never beaten so fast, I have never felt so much
adrenaline, and never felt so alive. The second flip was not as
extreme, mainly because I didnt wait to flip this time, i actually
jumped out of the boat into the rapids and went for the ride of my
life. Overall the whole rafting experience was well worth it, and if i
decide to go within the next 3 months, I get to go at half price.

The river rafting company supports an organization called Soft Power
Education. They do a lot to build and refurbish schools, dig and
install pit latrines and water and sanitation systems, and other
programming for orphans,etc. They have a slew of volunteers coming and
going, and I was thus thinking that when my contract ends on Januarey
28 with UCA, I have 3 weeks before I fly home to Canada, so I will
travel out to stay in the region and volunteer with the organization.
They are in need of small grant proposals and anyone to help out with
the manual labour and gritty work of installation, as well as bringing
new ideas to the table. I talked with the program officer and she is
going to reserve me a spot for early february. While my work
experience at UCA has not been the best it could have been so far, I
think finishing up what I can accomplish here and then doing something
much more hands on, will be a good wrap up to my trip. super excited
for this. I think the website is www.softpowereducation.com.

After another early night on saturday (mainly caused by the extreme
sulphur burps and toots I was having. I get short spouts of Jiardia
that seem to clear up on their own), I watched the full moon and stars
for a bit, and then passed out. Woke up late on Sunday and walked down
to the falls, and then headed into Jinja to a beautiful restaurant on
the river. Returned to the hostel soon after to play some pool and
frisbee, and then headed home on the shuttle back to Kampala. Feeling
a little tired and worn down today from the paddling, but overall it
was an incredible trip, and I will for sure be returning their in feb
to raft again and volunteer

I am running a 10km marathon this upcoming sunday with MTN (giant
cellphone provider here). We'll see if I can make it through with the
heat and pollution.

Lots of Love!

Muggy Murchison Safari Madness!

Recently decided to take a Safari vacation up to Murchison Falls game reserve. Was looking for affordable tour companies and heard from many that Red Chili was one of the greatest tour companies and offered the cheapest camping accommodations in the park. Me, I love spending as little money as possible, so I jumped right on it.

To be honest, I was a little weary about it at first. Leaving the base camp in Kampala on a small safari bus with 7 other Mzungus felt a bit strange. Living here is a much different experience then doing the short term tourist type deals that a lot of travelers do, so it was a bit of an awkward feeling at first taking on a tourist role. It can feel very superficial at times, almost as if you are really not getting a cultural glimpse of where you are headed but more of a fabricated, surface level glimpse of an experience that has been built to form to the needs and fancies of the tourist market. Anyways, I consciously tried to overcome these feelings, but they remained with me the entire trip, a trip that almost didn’t feel real. It felt, as I said above, extremely fabricated and predetermined. Beside these feelings, I still had an incredible time.

It is currently the short rainy season in the north western region of Uganda. This year has been extremely strange, many people stating that it has been the rainiest short rainy season they have ever experienced; a key indicator that climate change is in fact very real. The first night we were there we walked down to the Nile river and took in the scenery, looking like a patient bird watcher for the glimpse of a bathing Hippo, or possibly a bush Elephant grazing on some vegetation. At this point the animals seemed to be in hiding. We did find a giant metal globe, with hugely misrepresented countries painted on them. North Korea seemed to be about the size of Sudan. Haha maybe it was painted by Kim Gung-Il? We headed back to the camp with haste as the torrential rains were clouding the sky in dark hues of grey; winds blowing in a well needed coolness to the evening.

The food at Red Chili was incredible. Pumpkin curries, pork sausage pastas, chocolate custard cakes, mmm, lovely food. The best part is that there are no fences around the camp, so while you are eating your dinner, you get to enjoy the lovely company of scavenging warthogs. Pumba from the Lion King was there in numbers. Sadly enough they weren’t singing Hakuna Matata and scavenging for grubs. They were turning over garbage cans, leaving terd-mines that always became a lovely treat trying to avoid while walking aimlessly to the bathrooms at 4 in the morning in the pitch black. Hippos also come to the camps to graze on the grass at night. Unfortunately I didn’t get to stumble upon one while there.

The first night, I had unpacked my bag and laid out my clothes so that I could quickly leave the tent in the morning to shower and not wake up my tent mate. Really pays off to be considerate these days!! Haha the rains flooded our tent that night, and literally everything I brought was drenched like a sad little wet dog. Socks, Underwear, shirts, jeans, shorts, shoes, all saturated, and because it was raining all weekend, nothing dried out. Nothing dampens the soul like the lovely feel of wet socks on your feet. Haha

We woke up at 5:30 that morning to make it out for our 6:30 game drive. Drove down to the river by the Kim Gung-Il globe, and waited for the ferry to carry all the trucks across to the game park. There was this one Mzungu lady in an SUV behind us who was trucking around 8 teenagers to go on the game drive in her SUV. The look on this ladies face was if she had woken up with warthog dung in her mouth. She was sour, cold and gave off the worst energy imaginable. Beginning our drive through the park, she drove behind us, and became the laugh of our morning seeing just how contorted (almost as if she was constipated) her face would become and how frustrated she was at our van getting stuck on wet hills, fishtailing and spinning in the mud. It was a hoot. Our van had a detachable roof, so we were able to fully stand up and take in the fresh air and smell of Elephant dung as we wizzed through the park, going up and down hills, overlooking the beautiful Ugandan Plane, giraffes in the distance grazing on Accacia trees, Antelopes and Jackson Heartabeasts running at the sound of our van approaching, only to leave and sight of their behinds trotting away. Even the sight of their behinds was nicer then the look the lady in the SUV behind was giving us. She was almost as interesting to watch as the animals we sought to see. I even took pictures of her from the top of our van. haha

Due to the rain a lot of the animals were hiding, so we weren’t able to see the full extent of the wildlife present there, but we still did see some amazing animals. The Giraffes were extremely majestic and almost mythical, with such a noble presence and strength. Pulling up to take a look, they would stare back in a similar adoration that I was feeling for them. Eyes connecting, we looked deeply into each other and there was a connection I had never quite felt with an animal before. An understanding of some sort of a recognition that we felt welcome and warm in each others company. It was heartwarming and seemed to keep me warm in my tired, damp state. The Elephants also had quite a presence. The game drive was about 4 hours, with a lot of attention placed on searching to see Lions and Leopards. Unfortunately none were around to see.

Upon arriving back at the Ferry (which was out of commission) we spent some time waiting on the river bank (in hopes it would get fixed). There were 2 Baboons there that would jump into the windows of the vans looking for scraps of food to eat. I sat down on the ground by one of them (3-4 feet away) and again just sat in her presence and stared deeply into here eyes and felt that same connection again. They were so human like, eyes looking around taking in the surrounding environment and assessing the situation. It was such a strange feeling to be that close to a wild animal, yet feel so comfortable and at home with them. I loved it. Soon after the male baboon jumped onto the lip of a garbage can to find some scraps and like a clumsy ass, fell right off onto his back. Haha seems like something my tall clumsy self would do if I was an animal. He was extremely intelligent, grabbing a rubbished chip bag, and tactfully opening it with his hands and licking the crumbs out. Again so human like. I could see my Uncle John doing something like that if he was an animal. Hahaha The man loves leftovers and food scraps.. Love ya UJ!

After the game drive we returned to the camp for lunch. Everyone in the camp seemed to eat and then pass out in their chair. The rains came, and came with strength. Even the little Warthogs retreated to the undergrowth of the bush to hide from its strength. We roughed the rains and went back down to the river and boarded an 18 passenger metal boat. Something didn’t click being in a fully metal boat, in the middle of a thunderstorm and torrential rain on the river. I love how anything goes in Africa!! Haha We got to see some lovely lazy hippos, yawning with their giant mouths, dipping under the water upon our intrusion into their habitat, only to pop their cute little heads up again twitching their ears as if to say hello. Giant crocs speckled the banks at certain points, again swiftly plunging into the water at the sight of our metal monster of a boat. The sides of the boat really didn’t keep the rains out, so I became soaked, with soggy shoes and socks (enough to make even the Dalai Lama miserable. Haha) It’s fine being drenched, but as soon as your feet become wet, something changes. It’s like the feeling when a baby keeps crying in church and the parents aren’t considerate enough to take the baby for a walk. So s/he just keeps crying and crying, and the whole parish gets this subsurface agitated feeling like “SOMEONE GIVE THAT BABY A NIPPLE”. Yeah the nipple for me would have been a nice hot shower and some dry clothes, but neither were available this weekend, so I like the baby, was crying inside. Haha

The boat ride was fun, although I found myself feeling rather lonely, detached from the experience I was in, finding myself thinking about Lynne and family, wishing I could be sharing the experience with those I loved most. Could have been this, or the 10 or so rowdy American kayakers that were on our boat, drinking lots of beers, peeing off the side of the boat. While the ride to the falls wasn’t the greatest for me, what paid off was the amazing view of Murchison falls. I have never seen such a powerful river with so much strength. This huge volume of water narrows in from a couple hundred meters, down to about 6 meters, gushing through the cracks in the rock, spewing out at intense pressure. It was beautiful.

After seeing the falls, all I was interested in was returning to the camp for a cup of tea. The boat driver for some reason put the boat on turtle pace, and it took ages to get back to the dock. Not wanting to take part in the river pee festival that the Americans proudly displayed, haha I waited with my legs clinched together to get back to shore. We finally reached back and like a tapped fire hydrant on the streets of Brooklyn in the 50’s, I blasted the side of a tree. I am pretty sure the pressure could have taken the paint off of a car. Hahaha Would have loved to be able to write my name in the snow back home. Probably could have written a chapter of a novel with how full my tank was. We went back to the camp and sat by the bar in my drenched clothes. It was Jeremy’s 25th birthday (a friend of Emily; a girl I went to high school with in India who happens to be working here). We celebrated his birthday and everyone rang in the night with drinks. Was a fun night but being drenched and cold, I soon retreated to my tent to warm up under the blanket and soon passed out.
The joke of the night that has stuck with me, was told by one of my British friend’s, Justine. She comes off as this very proper English girl, so this joke came with howls and howls of laughter, coming from her of all people. “Why are there so many Pedophiles in the World?—Sexy Kids!” She followed up saying this by coyfully covering her mouth and raising her eyebrows. Haha was a hilarious moment.

Our last day was probably the most spectacular for me. We woke up early, packed our stuff, had a nice bagged breakfast and headed off to Murchison falls in our van to go for a hike. The hike was easy enough for a toddler to do (I was looking for something a little more challenging), but the views of the falls from atop the canyon ridges were beautiful. We then hiked down to the falls where I really got to see the power of the rapids and the water. Got absolutely soaked again from the mist, but luckily it was hot enough to dry before getting back in the van. I sat on a protruding rock that jetted into the river, and watched in adoration of the rapids, and the extreme power and rawness of nature. It was beautifully captivating and regrounded and recharged my energy. We were quickly rushed through the experience and asked to get back to the vans (the staff seemed to do a lot of that this trip). I could have stayed there for days and just sat and watched the water. It felt like home being there.

I passed out for the majority of the ride home, except for lunch, and of course when arriving at the roasted cassava stand (mmm can never get enough roasted cassava.. Love the stuff). Arrived home to some lovely roommates, exchanging stories of our trips and our weekends and passed out early.

I might be off to Bujugali Falls next weekend in Jinja to do some white water rafting, before the world bank dams up the Nile in December and ends the rapids there (hopefully it does more good then harm to Uganda).

Will write again soon hopefully.
Sorry for the gap in writing.
love you all
oh and my camera broke just before leaving, so i have no pictures.. Hoping on the kindness of others to give me their pics :)

The Food That Makes My World Go 'Round

So I just finished lunch, and food is still fresh on the mind. I have been in love with food my whole life and quite frankly eating is one of my favourite things to do (besides giving hugs). The food here has fully captivated me. To the majority of expat pallettes, Ugandan food is bland, boring and a bucket of starch. To me, I have found pure beauty in it. It is some of the freshest food I have ever had. Everyday at the office I am blessed with a giant plate or rice, freshly cooked beans in tomato sauce and onions, a slice of steamed sweet potato, and a large helping of steamed plantain (matouke). AHH it is incredible. I usually get the symptoms of "dosing" as many Ugandans do after eating this carb loaded delight. haha but it is all part of the joy of eating here.

Yesterdays lunch was a shocker. I am eating my beans, rice, matouke and sweet potato as usual, reading the news on my latop. Halfway through my meal, I looked down and there were 5 thumbnail sized worms squigglin around in my beans, and a bunch of thin long clear worms in the mix with them. haha I have really come to not care about things here, as I found myself pick out the large worms and throw them out the window, mix in the rest, and continue on eating as if nothing had happened. haha I could definately see myself stranded in a rainforest, turning over rotten logs, eating grubs to survive. I now know I have it in me.. :)

On to the ROLEX!! AHH Uganda's most amazing cuisine treasure. The streets are dotted with little tiny food stands advertising "rolex and chapati". When I first arrived here I literally thought they were selling watches and bread. hahaha Upon closer look I discovered a little piece of heaven. Chopped cabbage, tomato, green pepper and onion fried with 2 eggs and rolled up into a fresh chapati. This has become by far my most favourite food globally. Of all the places I have lived and all the food I have been exposed to, nothing hits home and satisfies the gut and soul like a Rolex. I am currently considering bringing this ingenious delicacy to the streets of Canada, where profit margins for this treat would skyrocket. (if you are reading this please dont steal the idea. hahahah)

Ahhhh food. How I love you!!!

Little Man Syndrome

This is probably going to be a Debby Downer post so brace yourself. Hahaha
Work has recently been a little frustrating. These CIDA internships seem to be hit or miss in terms of the quality of the supervisor you are given and how much they put into your development as an employee. It appears that I got the extreme shit end of the stick on this placement. I knew from the start that it was going to be a challenge, but never thought that my supervisor could be so disinterested and unengaged in my role here. Not to place any judgment, but more just outlining the truth of the matter, he is a man with a huge ego of his own intelligence and abilities, with not a care for what others are capable of and can bring to the table. He suffers from extreme little man syndrome, overcompensating in hubris and self love for his mini stature. He has, without a lie, not given me one piece of work, one piece of advice, one ounce of guidance, no resources, no direction or identification of priorities and barely gives me the time of day when I go to communicate with him. A couple of weeks ago I went in to talk to him and he literally handed me his business card and said “if you need to speak to me please send me an email and I will get back when I have the time.” Do you think he ever responds to my e-mails? Nope!! Haha
If my organization were made into an office drama, this guy would for sure be the topic of shit talking at the candy machine/water jug. Haha I don’t really have anyone at the office I can openly express my feelings on this matter with, hence why you all have to put up with it. 
Think my priorities might change here from being a field worker, going out and working hands on with the farmers (which I love), to focusing my energy on creating an inclusive environmental policy and a standardized environmental assessment approach for UCA’s programming. I can only go on my own assessments of the needs, as the direction and leadership just isn’t there to guide me towards something.
On top of that things move at the slowesssssst pace. Even just to get a ripped internet line repaired took 2.5 weeks to get done, so you can imagine on the bigger stuff, it just lags, gets pushed to the bottom of the pile, and resurfaces when you have already begun to work on something else. It’s a system I am slowly learning my place in and learning how to get around.

On to some more positive things.  Life has been grand. Getting to become closer with friends I have met here has been a blessing. There are a great many amazing souls here in the NGO community that I have been fortunate to meet and that side of life here has been beautiful. The people I have met love to dance, and the majority are beginning to really embrace the hugs, which is great because it is something I have been missing since leaving home. Back home the daily hug quota was about 15-20 people per day. Here it is usually maybe one a day if that, with maybe 10 per day on the weekends. The hug army is slowly building and it is something I would love to see grow in Ugandan society. Hugs connect hearts, they bridge barriers, they break down negative emotions, they are rejuvenating, invigorating and by far my favourite thing to do.
Went to the first International Jazz Festival this weekend at a resort along the banks of Lake Victoria. Had some of the most incredible Afro Jazz fusion blasting into the night. I have never danced so much in my life. It surprised me how few people were dancing. Had so many people pointing and laughing, guys running over and imitating my moves and then running back and laughing with their friends about it. Security guards giving me thumbs up, female resort workers covering their mouths and giggling, whispering to their friends. Oh well, couldn’t care whether I looked like a complete knob, I was having a blast. My friend Pete joined for dinner last night and he asked if anyone has come up to me for an autograph yet. I was confused.. Apparently the whole festival was being filmed (about 8 hours in all) and he said the camera was focused on my dancing for about 40% of the time. Hahaha It was broadcast on all the major Ugandan tv stations. Was really embarrassing to find out, as I was fully just giving it for the entire 8 hours, drenched in sweat, serious swamp ass in my jeans. Hope that wasn’t visible. “Hey Mzungu swamp ass, I really liked your dancing” haha
There was this incredible South African artist Miriam Makeba. The energy she put out, the wittiness, her jokes, her lively dancing, her singing, her ability to carry on for an hour.. It all amazed me. This lady gave it her all and was 76.. I was stunned the whole night and it only served to further keep me going with the full-on drenched dancing.

I head up to Nebbi and Arua come Monday for 11 days to implement some of the water and soil conservation trainings I have been developing. It should be a nice trip. I was very excited, as for a long time now I have been pushing for my co-worker Ronah to come to the field and implement some gender training workshops. My supervisor has denied her application twice, saying that there is no funding available for her to go. I took it into my own hands and contacted my boss in Ottawa asking if some of my travel allotment could be given to ronah so she could come to the field. After a couple of emails back and fourth they agreed, and Ronah was on cloud nine, soooo excited to see upcountry and get out and get some more hands on experience. I went to inform my supervisor that the funding had gone through and he told me that he will put a stop on it going through, as he doesn’t feel she is qualified ( even though she has done about 5 gender training workshops already elsewhere) and doesn’t feel it is appropriate for a Ugandan to be using my funding.. It has completely set me off, hence the motivation for writing this downer post about him, Ronah had so much hope in her eyes hearing that CCA had approved her to go to the north. She was the most excited I had seen her, smiling from ear to ear, energy at an all time peak. She was then devastated hearing she wouldn’t be going. This goes back to my supe. Not noticing the capacities and strengths of others. Ronah has so much potential and so many skills, but it seems like so many of the management staff here are holding her back and not allowing her to foster this potential. Drives me nuts!!!!

Anywho just some frustrations and good things I am going through..
Think I might end all communication with my supervisor. It is pointless to try and only puts a hamper on my energy. Not really losing anything by doing so. We shall see where things go in the next 4 months. Will keep you posted.
Love Love Love

Building Trust for Global Solutions

Hey.. Had this discussion with a friend here in Uganda recently, and thought it beneficial to share..

The world we live in today is becoming a well defined mosaic of life; diversity resplendently expressing itself as it paints an intricate portrait of the larger picture of the world on an open, boundless canvas. Each culture, each community, each individual expressing different views of the workings of life and the world, but what one can notice, if one searches that there are vast underlining meaning and shared realities that connect all our hearts as one.

Looking into religion. The world has become so divided, each religion pushing for its' place on a global scale, spreading messages to gain entitlement in their own mission, ideology and purpose. Dogma and tradition have divided humanity so much that it makes the purpose of religion—the unification of mankind and looking out for our brothers and sisters—extremely obsolete and non-existent. Each one so blinded by the institution that they have conformed to, and what it means on a surface level to be part of that institution, forgetting more on the real lessons and guides of action that they are grounded in that can connect us all. Religion is a personal search for ultimate truth, rather then a blind following of the masses to interpretations laid out by individuals claiming to have a higher connection to this ultimate truth. People are so forceful on defining themselves in a predetermined box, that it hinders the development of a world where we see the shared similarities existing between the human fabric of mankind, and see rather the world from a much narrower view, a view of division and segregation from one another. In the search for this personal truth, one can see that all paths lead to the same ultimate reality, yet the majority of these paths are so reinforced by giant walls and barbed wire, that people lack seeing that they all run parallel to one another. If tradition and dogma could be looked beyond I think so many of the worlds problems could be solved in collaboration. The majority of the west has come to see Islam solely as a radical, fanatical religion, with people who don't value life and seek to terrorize the world. This drives me wild, as Islam is a faith of peace, grounded again on global collaboration and ultimate peace building and unity. Evangelical Christians are just as fanatical as Muslim extremists, yet the world has not come to generalize Christianity in the same light. Religion should be done away with if the truth of it is to be consistently covered over by surface level identity.

Of most importance is personal investigation and personal initiative to wholeheartedly embrace ourselves in a light that empowers us to grow both spiritually and mentally in understanding both the falsity of many of the thoughts that our minds stir up about ourselves and others, and to allow these thoughts to dissipate through remaining connected to a state of higher consciousness that exists in and around ourselves right here, right now.

Judgment, an a aspect of the human reality, direly needs to change. There exists so much judgment in the world, and at the onset of seeing something negative or bad in someone, we ultimately place judgment on people and further the divide of collaborating and building global trust. Looking and focusing on the goodness of people is what truly matters. Negativity and bad things exist in all people, but if they are not on a level that significantly impacts others lives and wellbeing, then why do they matter? They are insignificant. What is of the greatest importance are the amazing qualities that exist in peoples hearts, and there are many. We must become grounded in seeing the goodness of others and embracing the goodness of ourselves. We will always have things we want to change in our life and about ourselves. An approach for doing this is noticing the good things that are going on in yourself and in your life and putting full energy into fostering their growth. The growth of these attributes inevitably will lead to the things you want to change about yourself, to do just that, change. This approach embraces the beauty, letting the light grow. “Even the smallest candle brings light to any darkness.” Imagine if that candle turned into a giant bonfire, fueled by a positive drive to see the goodness in yourself and others. Before you know it the darkness is less visible, and the bright light of yourself and others is what you begin to focus on. This is not the ego, as this is grounded in truth and humbleness. The ego is a product of the mind. This positive progression is solely an expression and revelation of the heart, which is who we truly are as humans. The mind will continuously confuse us and create internal chaos. With our heart as the compass of our lives, deep intuition leads our life on a much more truthful path, clear to what directions our lives are headed and what we need to do to progress together, in oneness. With the heart strong, it begins to influence thoughts and puts up an ever expanding filter that begins to purify our thoughts, speeding up the time it takes to get over negative things in our lives and returning our intentions and focus to the positive--grass is greener right where I am--side of life. The ending of judgment of others and ourselves, as well as the focus on revealing the positive attributes of others and ourselves rather then focusing on the negative is deeply essential. We can have the most sustainable, holistic approaches to solving the worlds' problems, but if trust in our fellow (wo)man is not present, it won't matter how smart and strategic our plans are. It is my view that lack of true trust building is one of the key root problems to the current global strife.

Nature, the world, its’ people, exist in so much beauty. We taint this beauty by our narrow views, our judgment, our own personal lens’. We must broaden our lens’ to see the truth in ourselves, others and the world around us. If we are to forge global solutions, it is essential that we find foundations in an approach grounded in trust building and opening our perception to the real world around us.

Hope you are all well..
Much love

An Ode to Co-operatives

Ode to Co-operatives


Co-operatives; collectivized, member driven, they truly pave the way,
Building the global co-operative paradigm is essential for solving our problems today.

Like a stream under a bridge, co-ops challenge the current global economic scheme,
This current is rising, working tirelessly to build collaboration, contributing to a unified team…

A group of individuals with a common purpose, a shared vision, and a destined drive,
Sowing the seeds for long term livelihood improvement, communities begin to thrive.

This movement is truly alive, with improvements to the model consistently underway,
Evolving towards strong, holistic enterprises; building foundations for peace today.

With values grounded in equality, transparency, accountability and integrity,
A model that empowers those in vulnerability, paving a successful path for the entire world to see.

One must see that the current economic paradigm is one that’s withering under its’ feet,
Co-ops are becoming powerful contenders; soon the current system won’t be able to compete.

We must all refocus the co-operative spirit, distributing the values at a heightened pace.
Further enabling community driven approaches to come out on top in the economic rat race.

We are on the brink of great change, threats exist, but with clear sight, opportunities are born,
Building unity in diversity, fostering development in peace, mending communities that were once torn.

Let us come together and give thanks to the people who dedicate their lives to building this positive direction,
Building strong cooperative societies founded in virtues and values since the movements’ inception.

Let us continue moving forward, laying bricks, paving paths that lead the cooperative way,
The sky is the limit in collectivized action, the fuel burning the fire for community driven development is here to stay.

In this day and age let us reflect on where we have come thus far, and have great faith in where we can go,
Be confident and proud, knowing at heart that this beautiful movement will only continue to grow.